MC Special

My all- time favorite martini. I loved Cosmos until I saw the recipe for Sex on the Beach. I combined the two to come up with this MC Special. I called it the “GC Special” until I thought that probably recommending an alcoholic drink as Grandma Carol wasn’t a very grandmotherly thing to do. So I changed it to MC Special. It’s the best cocktail ever, in my opinion - fruity, refreshing, and sure to get a buzz going with one drink. 

1 oz. vodka (Tito’s or Grey Goose)

1/2 oz. Cointreau (or any orange liquor like Triple Sec - but Cointreau is the best!)

1/2 oz. Peach Schnapps

1 oz. OJ

1 oz. Cranberry Juice Cocktail (I always used use Diet cranberry juice cocktail because I’m sure those few calories I save make a world of difference!)

Juice from 1/4 lime

Combine all ingredients in a shaker with ice. Shake for 30 seconds and serve in your favorite martini glass. I like to serve mine WITH the ice. I never strain it. 

When I make this for myself, I rarely measure anything - just pour a little of each ingredient in my shaker. It’s all good. Exact measurements not required. Really- how could you mess this up?!!!

An "Alone" Obsession

I was looking through Netflix a few weeks ago, and I saw "Alone." I clicked on it and began a new obsession. Since then I have watched every episode of every season. I've looked up background information and read "Where are they now?" articles.

As I watch, I think about how "I" would handle each situation. I find myself mentally going over which ten items I would take with me. I plan how I would build my shelter, how I would keep a fire going, how I would fish, hunt, and snare, how I would handle being alone and vulnerable.

Then I laugh at the idea. I will celebrate my 71st birthday in a month - I didn't like having to use an outhouse at Camp Denali in Alaska. I can only imagine what I would do without even an outhouse - and no toilet paper.  I could be one of those people who "tap out" the first day, although I hope I'd last at least a few days. I'm not very outdoorsy; I enjoy my automatic AC and heat, running water, well stocked refrigerator, freezer, and pantry - and my comfy bed and pillow. However, there remains a desire to prove myself - to see what kind of survival skills I could muster up in such a situation.

It made me think of my friend, Troy, who felt led to walk the Natchez Trace - 444 miles long. He did it in 2014, I think. Ron and I walked a couple miles with him when he was close to the end in Nashville. Troy felt called by God to do that, and he has written a book about it.

It makes me wonder about what God has called me to do.  Other than wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, neighbor . . . I don't know. 

The Coronavirus Pandemic - and what Americans are made of

I read an article  that discussed how the Coronavirus will show what Americans are made of. I immediately thought of a video in the news earlier today showing two customers fighting over toilet paper in a Sam's store. Another video showed lines of shoppers winding around a Costco and up and down lanes in the parking lot. People were waiting for hours in that line in order to get inside the store for a chance to buy bulk items they were convinced they needed immediately. Another news item was about two men who last week (before the panic) bought cases and cases of hand-sanitizer, toilet paper, and disinfecting wipes and were now trying to re-sell them for many times what they paid for them. Yet another story told of an elderly gentlemen with tears in his eyes as he went from store to store to find toilet paper because he was down to his last roll, but each store he checked was sold out.

Folks, we are Americans!  We are better than that! Our fathers and mothers - and the generations before them - battled far worse battles than the Coronavirus to give us this land of opportunity. We have enormous luxuries that the generations before us never dreamed of.  Yes, we are spoiled with our bounty, but we are not ruined or doomed!

Do we want to be those panic-stricken, reactionary hoarders slugging their neighbors over a roll of toilet paper or trying to gouge their fellow citizens with over-priced hoarded goods, or do we want to be the generous, hard-working, freedom-loving, and wildly diverse people that come together for a common goal? 

Will we spend the next weeks and months playing political gotcha games and spewing our criticism, anger, and frustration on social media, or will we stand up, realize we are all in this together - even if we vehemently disagree about political and social issues - and work with each other to minimize this pandemic as much as possible?

Yes, it sucks that things are shut down, our trips have been cancelled, our sporting events have been postponed, schools are closed. People are sick, and maybe we are sick. People are losing jobs, money, businesses, and people are losing their lives. We don't know what's going to happen. Yes, our lives have been turned upside down in the matter of only a few days. It's a tough time. It's in tough times, though, that we show what we're made of. The hard times are when our true character shows through.

Instead of panicking and hoarding, think about what you can do during the coming weeks and months. Accept that you'll have limitations for awhile. Figure out how you will live and work within those limitations. Americans are smart people - we can make it through without going off the deep end.

Make a plan for yourself and your family: Maintain your health. Take a daily walk - or two - even if it's inside your home. However, if you can, get outside in the fresh air and sunshine. Since many restaurants are closed, learn new recipes and try them out. Plant a garden. Be mindful. Take in the extra quietness of this time. Learn a new skill. Help others and check on elderly neighbors while maintaining social distance. Paint, practice playing the piano, love your family, mow the lawn, read a book, call a neighbor that lives alone or send them a note or card. Read the Bible, keep a journal of what you experience during this pandemic, catch up on some Netflix shows, call a local pastor to find out who in your neighborhood might need a meal prepared or some yard work done. Order groceries online - and only order the things you truly need. Be creative. Each of us lives in different circumstances. Do what is worthwhile and helpful in your particular circumstance. If you start feeling ill, follow the guidelines of the Coronavirus Task Force. Maintain social distance.
There will be many people who need help because the shut downs impact their lives in a major way. For many it is much more than an inconvenience. It may challenge their livelihood and their very lives. Look around at what your neighbors need. Can you help them? Remember that the best prescription for feeling sorry for yourself is to get involved in helping others. Years ago, Fred Rogers talked about how to handle scary times. He told us to look for the helpers. Anybody can yell and panic and play the blame game. It takes special people to roll up their sleeves and start making the situation better. Americans are special people.

We have a national challenge facing us. We are all Americans, and we need to clearly show the world and ourselves what we're made of.

The news is full of the panic - the hoarders - the gougers. If you have a story of the goodness of Americans during this challenging time, please share it.

70 Lessons Learned in 70 Years

70 Lessons Learned in 70 Years

As I finished writing this list, the clock struck midnight, and it is officially August 26, 2019, and I am now officially 70 years old. I’ve been working on this list for a few weeks, off and on, adding tidbits whenever I’d think of them, and I was determined to finish it by my birthday. Thus, I reached my first goal of my 70s! Some of the following lessons are substantive and important, and others are fairly insignificant. They're in no particular order, and I absolutely don't claim to have mastered them all. I'm still very much a work in progress. However, these "lessons" are all things I’ve learned in my 70 years on this planet.

1. Life expectancy changes. When I did a little research, I found that the life expectancy for a woman in the United States is 81.1 years. All right – so I have 11 good years left, hopefully. However, after a little more research, I learned that the longer you live, the longer your life expectancy becomes.  There’s a website where you plug in your age, height, weight, whether or not you exercise regularly, smoke, drink, etc., and it will calculate your personal life expectancy. Mine came out to 92. That means that if all my variables remain the same and a meteor doesn’t come hurtling out of the sky and hit me, I have around 22 years left. However, I’ve also realized that living longer is not necessarily the ideal goal. Living in good health (physically, relationally, mentally, emotionally, spiritually) is the important thing.
2. Aging seemed to move along slowly at first.  Elementary school, high school, college, marriage, grad school, teaching, having children. During those years, time passed, but it didn’t seem particularly fast. It was around the time that my children started graduating from college and being on their own that life suddenly accelerated. I was 50 – and it seems the next day I was 60. Then time went into hyperdrive. The years between 60 and 70 were a blur. If this pattern continues, by Christmas, I’ll be knocking on 90’s door. Ha ha! I’m still in shock! I’m 70 years old! OMG! I’m 70! 40s, 50s, and even 60s were okay, but I'm still in shock at 70.
3. There’s a Tibetan proverb “Eat half, Walk double, Laugh Triple, Love without measure.” Sounds smart to me. That will be my theme for my 70s.
4. Always try out new things. For Christmas 2018, I asked for a basketball goal. Basketball goals aren’t new, but since my children grew up, I haven’t had one. My son got one and set it up for me right after Christmas. Several times a week, I go out there and shoot baskets. I may only do a few, or I may do a couple dozen. Either way, I’m outside doing something physical, something that takes skill and coordination – and that’s a good thing.
5. I have become more careful as I’ve aged. I would guess most people do. I understand now how easily an accident can happen – and (what used to be) minor accidents and falls can be life-changing now. I learned that lesson when I tripped in the yard and fell a few years ago– and ended up eventually having to have knee surgery because of it. (torn meniscus) I hold onto stair rails now, I watch carefully when I’m walking on uneven ground, and I no longer stand on a ladder to change light bulbs when I’m home by myself. 
6. Don’t let the old person in. In the movie, The Mule, with Clint Eastwood, there’s a song titled, Don’t Let the Old Man In. I listened to that song, and it literally changed my life. Well, that may be a little dramatic, but it DID change my life in small, but important, ways. Toby Keith, who sings the song, had interviewed Clint Eastwood (89 years old) and asked, "What keeps you going?" Clint's response was "I don't let the old man in.” After hearing Clint's words, Toby went home and wrote this song. Here are several of the lines: "And I knew all of my life.That someday it would end. Get up and go outside. Don't let the old man in. Many moons I have lived. My body's weathered and worn. Ask yourself how old would you be. If you didn't know the day you were born."  “Get up and go outside!” I love that phrase. Just get up and do what you need to and can do! If I didn’t know my age, I wouldn’t feel 70. So I will act how I feel instead of what the calendar says. When I start to question whether I can do something, I try to remember to tell myself, “Don’t let that old woman in!” and just do it.
7. Develop inquisitiveness. Keep learning. I know people who don’t want to get involved in groups with other seniors because they don’t want to admit they’re a senior. As though it’s a big secret. Take a class. Learn a skill. Find out how something works. Ask questions. Never stop learning.
8.  People will make you feel old without intending to. I knew I was getting old when I was sitting in a teachers’ meeting, and one of the younger teachers turned to me and asked me for my ideas on the topic being discussed because “you have so much wisdom to share.” You KNOW you’re old when people start talking about your “wisdom”. I retired about four years after that.
9. Whether you are happy or unhappy, life will end all too soon anyway.
10. It’s important (but difficult) to embrace vulnerability. When I first started painting, I was so afraid to share my art with anyone – even my husband – because I enjoyed it so much and was so happy that it was better than I ever dreamed it could be, and yet I still recognized that it wasn’t “fine” art. It wasn't even okay art. I understood that I was a beginner and that the paintings I liked would one day be paintings I’d see major flaws in as time passed and I learned more and (hopefully) got better at painting. I remember a long time ago, a distant relative of mine started painting. I was probably in my 20s at the time, and I cringed each time I looked at her paintings because they were so amateurish and just awful (in my opinion). They made me think of paint-by-number kits. My negative reaction to her paintings affected my own art many years later. I thought, “I don’t want to be another SueAnn (not her real name). I didn’t want to paint something that people would say, “Oh, that’s wonderful!” while thinking, “OMG! That’s awful!” I had to reach the point where I was okay with whatever they thought – and that took a lot of time. I’ve had people make comments recently that I knew meant they thought my painting was amateurish. And that’s okay. It is what it is. (I hate that phrase, but it IS applicable sometimes). The point is that being vulnerable is the only way we will ever seek out new experiences. We can’t start out on a new hobby or activity and be proficient immediately. There is always a learning curve.  So embrace your vulnerability and try new things. And who cares if what you do is amateurish and not “professional.” It truly doesn’t matter.
11. Write thank-you notes – or at least thank-you texts or emails. Appreciation is always welcome. I once sent gift cards to quite a few young people who had graduated. I received sweet hand-written thank you notes from two of them. The others, however never acknowledged the gift in any way. No texts – no emails – no verbal thank you when I next saw them in person. I hope they received the gifts, although I guess I’ll never know. Of course, I didn’t give the gifts on the condition of the person thanking me. And I don’t harbor any negative feelings about it. However, it is obvious that expressing gratitude is not an important character trait of many of today’s young people – and that’s sad. Gratitude is a vital part of a satisfying life. I write all that and then I remember that, although I TRY to keep up with thank you notes, there have been times when I’ve neglected to do it myself – although I think I’ve always at least verbally expressed my thanks for gifts.
12. Having a mantra can be a powerful thing. In a book discussion group I attended in 2018, we were encouraged to write a personal mantra.  My mantra was “Be Brave – Be Real - Be Carol.” I had that mantra engraved on a silver bangle bracelet that I wear most of the time. It reminds me to follow my mantra. Here are explanations of each part: (a) Be brave – Do the right thing, even when it’s hard to do. Introduce yourself to the new person in the room. Extend the apology. Be vulnerable. Take that class that sounds interesting to you. (b) Be real – Be authentic. Don’t try to impress. You’re good enough “just the way you are.” (Did you hear Mr. Rogers’ voice when you read that last sentence?)  Nobody is perfect – so embrace the real, imperfect you. It’s okay to be yourself. (c) The third part of my mantra is “Be Carol.” I chose that because I know that, at heart, I am a kind and loving person. Sure, I have my selfish and unkind moments, but if I am true to myself, I am thoughtful and considerate of others. By using “Be Carol” it becomes an affirmation that I AM that person.
13. Many years ago, I read the following quote from Calvin Coolidge: “Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” I immediately made a poster of the quote and posted it in my classroom, and I posted it in every classroom I had after that.  The quote made such an impression on me. Persistence. Perseverance. You don’t have to be the smartest – or the strongest – or the wisest – or the prettiest – or any superlative. You just have to keep trying. Don’t give up.
14. I see many people get older and stop being active because they devoted their entire lives to either their work or family – or both - and once they retired and all the kids were grown and on their own, they were left with nothing to do. Develop a hobby or interest NOW that stands the test of time. It has to be something that you enjoy and can do the rest of your life. Sports are great but choose a sport you can still do when you don’t have the strength and flexibility of youth. Choose a hobby, interest, activity, or sport in which you can “lose yourself.” “Losing yourself” means that you can get so wrapped up in doing it that you lose track of time. You’re not paying attention to anything except that activity. You’re truly living in the moment! I always wanted to be an artist, but I didn’t think I had any talent. After I retired, I started taking classes, and I learned I could paint well enough to not totally suck. I know I’m not the next Van Gogh or Rembrandt, and that’s okay. I enjoy it anyway. Through all the classes and workshops I’ve taken and still take, I’ve made new friends and gotten involved in artist groups. And in the future, as long as I’m able to sit in front of an easel and hold a paintbrush, I can paint. I can lose myself in it, and that’s a good thing, especially in today’s world.
15.  Audiobooks can be a good thing. I like audible.com, and regularly download audiobooks to listen to when I’m in my car. It’s surprising how quickly I can listen to an entire book while driving around town on errands. It may take several weeks, but I usually enjoy that much better than listening to music or talk radio. I’ve downloaded audiobooks on learning Italian – and I’ll listen to those a LOT before we go to Italy again.
16. When developing a habit, start small. Last year, I downloaded a book titled Atomic Habits.  Seriously, if you haven’t read it, get it and read it. It’s about how it’s best to develop small habits (i.e. atomic habits) that lead to big results. Rather than starting with some huge and impossible task, start with a small habit. Maybe decide to exercise 3 minutes each morning. That’s doable for just about anyone. Whatever your goal is, start an “atomic” habit to begin working on it. Then build from there. And if you don’t ever build beyond the initial atomic habit, you’ll be surprised how much that little bit makes a difference and grows. It goes back to that persistence/perseverance thing. When I set up my first atomic habit, I decided I wanted to be more physically fit and I wanted to be able to play several songs well on the piano. So I planned out a set of 3 exercises that I could do in about 5 minutes, and I chose several songs I wanted to learn to play on the piano. My goal was 3-5 days a week to do the exercises and to play three songs. It is amazing how much better I am on the piano with just that small amount of regular playing. No, I’m not ready to play the piano for church, but I can play several songs pretty well. And the 3-5 minutes of exercise leads to my feeling better all day long, plus I usually workout a little longer than that.
17. (Warning: major use of the f-word ahead. If that bothers you, skip to #18.) Another audiobook I listened to that made an impact on me is The Subtle Art of not Giving a Fuck. I’ve actually listened to it several times. It's that good. First, I had to adjust to hearing the word “fuck” repeatedly.  It is interesting the shock value that particular word can have on someone like me that did not grow up hearing language like that. My sisters and I thought we were tough as teens when we’d say “damn” - and we only did that a couple times and never around anyone else. Just kids trying out daring behaviors. :-) It is also interesting, after listening to the book for about an hour, that the shock value wore off. Now the word doesn’t really bother me. It’s just a word. Back to the book: Basically, we give too many fucks in life, and we must learn to not give a fuck about the things that don’t matter. When we give too many fucks to the insignificant crap in life, we don’t have fucks left for the important things. I know the author could have not used that word, but the book probably wouldn’t have sold nearly as many copies – and the message is a really good one. Don’t waste your time worrying about unimportant things. Your energy and time are finite. Save them for the things that are valuable and important to you.
18. Be kind. That includes being kind to yourself. That can be a hard lesson to learn.
19. Don’t make decisions when you are angry or upset. This is a very hard thing for me because I tend to react, and I want to DO SOMETHING about the situation when I’m feeling emotional. I’m working hard to remember to pause. Take deep breaths. Wait a day or two to act – or at least the next morning.
20. Being grateful makes life better. I've kept a gratitude journal off and on through the past few years. I enjoy reading back over the entries, and when I do, it makes me feel grateful all over again. Being grateful is a good way to get over anger and disappointments and other negative emotions. It’s hard to feel bad when you remember all the things that are good in your life.
21. And speaking of journals, keeping a journal – even a very brief and sketchy one – is a good thing. It’s amazing how much you forget over time. I’ve kept a journal since I was in 5^th grade – and I still have my journals starting from not long after Ron and I married in 1969.
22. Situations seem worse at night. Why is that? What is there about the night that makes any upset seem worse? It’s true, though. Try to tough it out till the morning, and things will feel better.
23. Despite the earlier advice about not making decisions when you’re upset, there ARE times when you need to act – despite being angry or upset. The trick is determining whether your particular situation warrants immediate action. I wish I had a magic formula for that, but I’m afraid it’s a situational decision you have to make. An example would be if you saw someone abusing an animal or a child. You’re upset, but that isn’t the time to wait a day or two to let your emotions settle. You have a responsibility to protect the vulnerable one immediately. Part of maturity is being able to discern when to act and when to wait.
24. It is not necessarily true that you are more likely to regret things you DIDN’T do than things you did. When I think back over my life, I don’t regret much, but that short list includes both things I did and things I didn’t do. I had an opportunity once to sky-dive. It would've been a tandem sky-dive, and I was right there and could have joined in easily, but I just watched as others did it. I regret that decision.
25. Children change you in ways you would have never guessed. As you grow up, date, and get married, you know you will love your children when they come along. However, when that first child is born, you will be totally blown away with the absolute enormity of that love. It’s overwhelming. You will also be amazed at how children change your life. Before we had kids, Ron and I would go out on weekends, and then we’d sleep late the next morning. Saturday mornings were generally lazy mornings – sleeping till near noon at times.  However, after children, we never sleep in. Even after they grew up and left home, our internal clocks are changed. We wake up with the dawn every.single.morning. You think that when they grow up and move out on their own, your job is done. Wrong. The whole “heart on the outside of your body” thing still runs deep. Then, it goes into overdrive when . . .
26. When grandchildren come along, you know you will love them. However, when that first grandchild is born, you will be totally blown away with the absolute enormity of that love. It’s different than the love you have for your children – different but just as strong. You become more vulnerable because you love so big. Grandchildren are a blessing that is matched by nothing else in life.
27.  No matter how much you plan to be a perfect parent, you will make mistakes. And you’ll make some pretty serious mistakes. Your children will remember those mistakes. They will also remember experiences very differently than you remember them.
28. When your children are adults, be prepared to find out just how much they “got away with” as they were growing up. One day your kids will get on the topic of their childhoods, and they be laughing at the things they did that their parents (YOU!) had no clue about. It is eye-opening and sometimes shocking! I remember going to school one morning and another teacher commented on the fact that I must've had a big party that Saturday night by all the cars parked up and down the street. I had been out of town and had left my college aged son at home. I came home to a spotless house. A picture on the kitchen wall had been moved, but it looked good where it was and so I left it and didn't think anything of it. It never occurred to me that something was up. When I moved years later and took down that painting, there was a hole in the wall behind it. 
29. I grew up hearing that you should cherish your children when they are little because they grow up so quickly. So I deliberately enjoyed and paid attention to and cherished each of my children's babyhoods and childhoods – and they STILL grew up too quickly. So then I turned to my grandchildren and treasured those moments, too. And they are growing up quickly as well. Lesson learned: Kids grow up – time passes – and there’s not a damn thing you can do to slow it down. Just enjoy being in the moment as much as possible. All too soon, those childhoods will be relegated to memories.
30. People very sagely advise us to “Pick your battles” and “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” I’m here to tell you that can be stupid and dangerous. Small stuff leads to big stuff, and battles not fought over seemingly unimportant behaviors can lead to very bad or destructive patterns of behavior later.  Sometimes you must set boundaries and expectations within the minutiae of life.
31.  If someone wants to be with you, they’ll find a way. In the show, Sex and the City (yes, I’ve seen every single episode plus both movies), there is an episode where they discuss a book titled He’s Just Not That Into You. It’s a freeing concept for relationships. Sometimes you have to accept the fact that you're simply not someone else's cup of tea. That’s life. You don’t need to do anything to change how they feel. You didn't do anything to make them feel that way. They don’t need to change. They just aren't that into you, and that’s okay. Move on.
32. A sincere apology is powerful. When it is needed, don’t be afraid to use it. Once I was very worked up over a situation where I felt I had been treated unfairly. When I expressed that upset and hurt, the other person gave me the most sincere and heartfelt apology, and INSTANTLY, all my upset and hurt was gone. Poof! Absolutely gone! It was amazing to me that a simple apology could make such a difference. Powerful stuff there!
33. Develop friendships. Sometimes it’s easy to become self-involved, but people need people. Find your tribe, and then nurture it. Invite people over to share meals or to play cards or to simply talk. Attend a Bible Study group. Schedule regular lunches out or walks in the park with a friend or group of friends. I’m an introvert, and I thrive on being alone with quiet and peaceful surroundings. However, I still need friends and social interaction. Put effort into developing and maintaining friendships. 
34. Children remember.  Words and actions in their early years can either positively or negatively impact them for the rest of their lives. Ron and I were once talking with Ron’s Grandfather, Felix. Felix was in his 90s at the time, and he was reminiscing about the time his first grade teacher was going around the classroom looking at the children’s work as they practiced writing their numbers. She stopped by Felix’s desk and remarked, “Felix, your 4s are really nice.” Eighty-five years later, Felix remembered fondly those affirming words. We adults need to remember to be careful – be intentional – about what we say to children – to anybody – of any age. Words have power.
35. Early in my teaching career, we had a speaker who advised us to not say anything to a student we wouldn’t say if the child’s parents were standing there. There were at least a few occasions throughout my teaching career when I was talking to my class or to individual students and turned around and either administrators, other teachers, or parents were standing where they could hear. So I was thankful for that advice. Not that I would say anything negative to students, BUT it kept me mindful of always being positive and kind. That’s good advice for life in general. Don’t say anything to anyone that you wouldn’t be okay with others hearing or having repeated elsewhere.
36. When giving gifts to others, many people give something they would want themselves. The better gift, though, is to learn what the other person values and wants, and then give a gift that matches that person’s unique dreams and wishes. 
37. Don’t be afraid to use the word “no.” I spent too much of my life being afraid to say no to people. You can do it kindly, but if you don’t want to do something or don't have the interest, time, or energy to do something, say so!  
38. One of life’s yukkiest experiences is to shake hands with someone that gives a weak, limp-wristed handshake. I believe kids should learn how to shake hands in kindergarten, if not earlier. When I was a classroom teacher, I would teach my students how to give a proper handshake. Always give a firm (but not finger-crushing) handshake! 
39. Read the Bible all the way through at least once. The OT is hard – so maybe follow a guide to read some OT and some NT each day. It may take years – but do it. Great for context, understanding – and, of course, bragging rights.
40. The Golden Rule is always a good policy. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
41. Having a daily devotional time is a really nice way to live. Read a Bible passage, read the day’s devotion in The Upper Room or other devotional book, keep a prayer journal and/or a gratitude journal. You might prefer to do it first thing in the morning or  right before you go to sleep at night. Do whatever works best for you. It’s a good habit to develop.
42. Be trustworthy.  Once trust is lost, it’s hard to regain it. Don’t promise anything unless you intend to follow through. Trust is a very fragile thing.
43. God doesn’t look around and say, “Oh, I think I’ll give this person cancer – and oh, let me zap that one with a heart attack!” Life happens, and God is there to see us through it. I remember a few days after Lily was first diagnosed with leukemia at the age of 7, Ron and I were eating in a local restaurant, and the server came up to us and said she’d heard about Lily. Then she asked if she could share a story that she thought would be a comfort to us. She proceeded to tell us of how, when she was a child, she was diagnosed with cancer. However, her mom prayed and told God that she just could not handle having a child with cancer, and later, when she went back to the doctor, the cancer was completely gone. I just looked at the waitress. THAT story was supposed to be a comfort? According to her story, all I needed to do was tell God we couldn’t handle Lily’s having cancer, and it would go away. Really? I truly believe that prayer changes things, and sometimes miracles happen. However, most often, prayer changes us and enables us to live with the bad stuff that life throws at us. God’s not a puppet master dishing out illnesses and then dispensing cures depending on who prays the most or hardest. Bad stuff happens, and God is with us through it all. When people credit prayer with healing someone, it's like a slap in the face to the people who prayed and prayed for healing that never happened. They're left to wonder, "Did I not pray hard enough?" "Was my prayer not good enough?" 
44. Bad things WILL happen to you – bad things that you can’t control. All you can control is how you react to those bad things. I’ve told the following story many times – I even had the story published in Guideposts magazine, but it’s worth repeating. It’s the only time in my life I feel that God spoke directly to me. A week or two after Lily was initially diagnosed with leukemia, I was in my car on the way home from visiting her at the hospital. She had been in pain and was so un-Lily-like. Curled up in a ball, crying, and not wanting to speak to anyone other than her mother. This child I loved more than life itself – my first grandchild - and I could do nothing to help her. I cried as I drove home, and the 800+ days of treatment ahead for Lily seemed overwhelming and unthinkable – 2 ½ years of chemo and pain and suffering! I kept thinking, “God, please let these 2 ½ years pass and be over with!” Instantly, in my head, I heard the words, “Don’t wish those years away; savor them!”  Savor them? How could I savor something so horrible? I stopped crying and started thinking. How could I savor those 800 days? There was nothing I could do to help Lily except to visit and distract as much as possible. I could help out with Sophie, and I did; I made Lily’s favorite foods and took them to the hospital, did crafts and other activities with her and Sophie. I accompanied Lily and Larisa to clinic as often as I could. That was almost eleven years ago, and within those 2 ½ years of treatment, we made some wonderful memories. I savored the good times within that horrible experience. When Lily relapsed in 2016 and faced an additional two years of treatment, I had to do the same thing again, although the circumstances were so different then since the girls were older and Larisa had remarried. There were terrifying and painful times, but there were also good and happy times. So – when circumstances are out of your control, look for the good within the bad – and savor those good times.
45. Life is not fair. Declaring, “That’s not fair!” just makes you look ridiculous. It is impossible for life to be fair. There are too many variables, and sometimes things happen for no rhyme or reason.  So accept the unfairness, work to make things fair wherever you can, and then keep going.
46.  “Stuff” weighs your down. The more stuff you have, the less freedom you have. Keep your life as simple as possible. That includes household furnishings, clothing, books - really everything. Simplify.
47. Sometimes you don’t REALLY want what you think you want. Ha! I’ve had to learn that lesson more than once! 
48. Diets are stupid. Just eat moderately and don’t waste years worrying about it. This is advice I didn’t follow myself. I spent most of my life on one diet or another. And when I wasn’t on a diet, I was thinking about being on a diet. The only extended time when I didn’t worry much about my weight was when I was taking Phen-Fen and got relatively thin. But then, the Fen part of Phen-Fen was banned – and so I took only the Phen part of the combination for years.  I had about 10 years that were mostly wonderful in some ways and occasionally yukky in others. I remember being amazed that a simple little pill each day could make such a difference. I hate to think of all the time and effort I wasted worrying about my weight. I hate to think of all the things I didn’t do because I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin. I’m done with that. Dieting never made a long-term difference; so I’m done with it.
49. Trust your instincts. There is a reason we recognize “red flags.” If you immediately don’t like someone or feel uneasy around someone, pay attention and figure out why. I believe most people have an innate sense of who is or isn’t authentic. For example, there is a woman that I’ve felt uneasy about since I met her – although other people in my family think that person is wonderful. I have tried to feel differently, but that feeling of unease persists. So I’m friendly but wary around her. I don’t know if some day I’ll be proven right or wrong – but I accept that there are red flags and reasons for my feelings. Trust your personal red flags.
50. Don’t fall for the trap of believing “When _____ happens, I will be happy.” Make your own happiness where you are now. Nothing and no one can “make” you happy.
51. You can change your bad mood, if you want to, by (a) taking a walk outside, (b) doing something for someone else. Research has shown that both getting outside and doing something for others generally make you happier.
52. Similarly, when you’re in a bad mood, smile. The simple act of smiling actually makes you feel better. There’s a scientific explanation about associating muscle memory with moods. Your body associates the physical act of smiling with the emotional feeling of happiness. Thus, smiling helps you feel better. I'm sure the actual definition is more complicated than that, but that's the general gist of it.
53. I used to get uptight about choosing the easiest and fastest route for trips. I felt compelled to find the best route. Then I dated a man who didn’t worry about such things. Once we were driving somewhere, and we ran into some traffic, and I fretted over whether or not I should have taken another route. He said, “It doesn’t matter. We’ll get there. It doesn’t matter if it takes 15 minutes or 20 minutes or 2 hours. Who cares? We’ll get there.”  Sigh. Why did it take me so many years to learn that simple truth? It doesn’t matter. Refer back to #17.
54. Make up the bed when you first awaken each morning. That little bit of neatness impacts your day. If you can, watch this short video, and if you have plenty of time, look up the entire speech and listen to it. Good stuff.
55. Develop daily habits that make your life easier: Make up your bed as soon as you get up (see video in #54), always put your dirty clothes in a hamper, close doors, turn off lights, put your dishes away immediately, put things where they belong. Daily habits such as these are part of being an adult. Most importantly, though, daily habit such as these make life much easier and less frustrating.
56. Nature is healing. As often as possible, get outside, even if it’s just to walk around your yard or block for a few minutes.
57. Have a garden – even if it’s just a couple tomato plants in a pot.
58. Plan in decades.  Think in years. Work in months. Live in days. (not original – just worth thinking about)
59. Don’t worry about what people think of you; most people are too busy thinking about themselves to be concerned with you. And, most of all, who cares what other people think of you. (Again, refer back to #17)
60. When you feel overwhelmed with a task to be done, start with something small. For example, you have to clean the garage. Start with doing one shelf, or sweeping out one side. Almost always, you’ll feel like tackling another part of the job once you’ve done that small part. If so, great – keep going. If not, then at least you did a small part of it. You got started.
61. Learn to nap. It is often not possible to sleep a long time at night.  That’s when the afternoon nap comes in handy. Some of the best and deepest sleep is via naps.
62. Travel. And don’t wait till you’re retired to do it. Do it while you’re young enough to be able to keep up with the physical requirements for travel. Travel to other states, visit national parks, travel to other countries and see other cultures. See as much of the world as you possibly can.
63. Don’t delete photos from your phone (or other devices) unless you have checked and double-checked – and perhaps even triple-checked - that the ones you want to keep are safely stored elsewhere. When I was clearing out old photos from my phone back in 2016, I mistakenly deleted my photos and videos from Ron’s and my trip to Alaska with Lily and Sophie. I thought I had saved those. But I didn’t double check before I clicked the “permanently delete” button. Thank goodness I had posted some on Facebook, and Ron still had his photos from the trip. However, I lost a lot of irreplaceable videos and photos, and I’m still sad that they’re gone forever. And yes, I’ve taken my phone and computer to the Apple store – and the photos are truly gone.
64. Don’t apologize for who you are.
65. Life is about change. Everything changes. No matter how bad things seem - and no matter how good things are, it will all change.
66. You can waste a lot of time online – not doing anything specific, just scrolling through Facebook and Instagram and reading posts and articles – maybe playing games. Keep a rein on that because it eats up time with no return on the time spent.
67. Politics have become so contentious that if it is something that bothers you, it is sometimes better to stay away from it. Get your fact-based news from a reliable source (which you will have to search to find), and stay away from the radio and TV news.
68. Quietness is calming. Sometimes the noise of music or the TV is just too much for me. I have to get away to where it’s quiet.
69. There are apps that actually help you sleep.  One is called Abide, and another one is Calm. There are others, but those are the two that I downloaded to my phone. Abide is a Christian-based app, and Calm is not. I personally like Abide best. If I’m home alone, I’ll play one of the “sleep stories” as I’m going to sleep. You can program it to run as long as you like. I usually set it for 30 minutes or an hour – depending on how sleepy I am at the time. I always go to sleep before it’s finished. At the end of the set time, it automatically goes off.  Abide uses a combination of Scripture, prayer, and Bible stories – with the reader using a soft and soothing voice. It’s a nice way to go to sleep on a positive note, and I almost always choose Abide over Calm. Calm uses stories – like The Velveteen Rabbit, The Ugly Duckling, or Pinocchio - along with “trips” into the Canadian Wilderness, Along the Nile, to the Outer Banks – where the reader describes the scenery, etc. I think these apps work because they focus your attention on the words of the speaker, and so you’re forced to stop thinking about all the other stuff going on in your life. Stuff that keeps you from falling asleep.  If you have trouble going to sleep, these apps are helpful.
70. We “owe” it to the people who died early to enjoy our lives as much as possible. Since my family was thrust into the world of childhood cancer, we’ve met too many children who have died at an early age. I feel I owe it to Savannah and both Samanthas and Angelie and Matt and Clinton and Elizabeth and Chase and Dariana and Tay and all the other children we’ve known who wanted so badly to live but died anyway. Life is hard, and there are certainly challenges in it, but it is also good. Absolutely excellent at times. And we who are living are blessed to experience it.

So here's to 70 years of life completed. So far it has been an exciting life - lots of ups and down and in-betweens. I've been blessed with my family, friends, church, community, profession, interests, and good health. There are very few regrets. Who knows what the future holds - but tonight it holds dinner at my favorite restaurant with my family. Lily and Sophie Grace won't be there since they're both away at college. However, I was with them earlier this month and we celebrated my birthday then, too. So I am completely blessed to have had that celebration and now a second birthday celebration tonight.

God's First Aid Kit

Ron and I went to the early service at church on Sunday. It's only the second or third time I've attended the early service (It began being offered just a few months ago), and attendance is growing. The sermon is what I want to write about - specifically two illustrations.

Pastor Betty spoke about how, as parents, most of us keep (or kept) a first aid kit in the house. Although we didn't know for sure what would happen, we knew the nature of young children; they are prone to bumps, falls, and scrapes, and the first aid kit would be needed to clean and bandage those bumps and scrapes. In the same way, although God doesn't cause our bumps and scrapes in life, he is ready with his own first aid kit of comfort, acceptance, care, grace, and mercy to help us deal with them.

I've often struggled with understanding an all-knowing God and the concept of free will.  If we have free will, then how does God already know what we will do, and if God already knows what we are going to do, then that's not really free will.

Pastor Betty also mentioned Queen Esther in the Bible - and how she was told that perhaps she was where she was "for such a time as this."

For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this."  ~Esther 4:14~

What I've come to understand is that we do have free will.The first-aid kit analogy and the story of Esther help me understand it further. God knows human nature, but he doesn't micro-manage our lives. God has a purpose for each one of us. In God's first aid kit are the Bible, prayer, the church, the Holy Spirit, loving friends and family to help us through the bumps and scrapes and crashes of life.  And He is with us himself each step of the way. 

My job is to make sure I do my part to make sure that first-aid kit is kept well stocked and that I have immediate access to it. I do that by attending church, reading the Bible, memorizing Bible verses, praying, and maintaining relationships. God's purpose will be realized with or without my help. However, each of us has a purpose for right now in this time and place. How blessed we are when we realize that purpose and, through prayer and meditation and action, we can fulfill that purpose.

I Won't Let the Old Woman In

The other day, Ron told me about how Clint Eastwood was asked, "What keeps you going?" Clint's response was "I don't let the old man in."  I loved that quote, and so I did a little research. The person who asked the question was Toby Keith, and after hearing Clint's response, Toby went home and wrote this song. It ended up being in Clint's most recent movie, "The Mule." Clint, at the age of 88, is still a fine looking man, and he did a great job in that movie. 

Here are the lyrics:

Don't let the old man in

I want to live me some more

Can't leave it up to him

He's knocking on my door 

And I knew all of my life

That someday it would end

Get up and go outside

Don't let the old man in  

Many moons I have lived

My body's weathered and worn

Ask yourself how old would you be

If you didn't know the day you were born

Try to love on your wife

And stay close to your friends

Toast each sundown with wine

Don't let the old man in

Many moons I have lived

My body's weathered and worn

Ask yourself how old would you be

If you didn't know the day you were born  

When he rides up on his horse

And you feel that cold bitter wind

Look out your window and smile

Don't let the old man in  

Look out your window and smile

Don't let the old man in 

The idea of not letting the old person in really resonated with me. It's a refusal to be limited with the little aches and pains that come with aging. The aches and pains will still be there, you just don't let them boss you around.  Eventually there will be something that limits me, but for NOW and for as long as I can, I won't let that old woman in - not into my mind, my attitude, or my actions.

Earlier today I took a bath. That's something I do maybe once every year or two. I'm a shower person. But today was chilly and rainy, and a bath seemed appealing.  So today was this year's day for a bath. LOL! I soaked for a long time, and let the warmth of the water relax and sooth me. When I was ready to get out of the tub, I was initially a little hesitant. There's no more hopping out of the tub without a thought of how I would accomplish that task. The tub is slippery and I was going from a reclining position to a standing position and then stepping over the side of the tub. And since the tub is a Jacuzzi, that side is fairly wide - so it was more of a climbing over than stepping over.  But then I thought to myself, "Don't let that old woman in! Just get out of the tub." And I did. I had to use the hand-grip on the tub - but I did it, and I refused to act like it was a big deal or something hard to do. I refused to let the old woman in!

This is the year that I will turn 70.  So old age has been on my mind a lot lately.  Perhaps that is why this song speaks to me so much. I want to paint something that evokes that sentiment for me. So I will be thinking about it and looking around at scenes around me, and I will eventually find the thing that I will paint and title "Don't let the old woman in!"

Blessings of the Day

(Wednesday, February 20, 2019) Today started out a little harried.  I packed up my car with bags and bags of supplies for a project the PEN Club (Pray-Explore-Nourish) at our church would be working on later.  It was raining, and it was cold and wet outside. I wanted to skip the meeting. However, since I was in charge of it, I couldn't. I'd spent just about all of yesterday preparing for the meeting - organizing and counting the supplies, making a list of what was needed, going shopping to get everything else that was needed, and then organizing it all. Church members had donated money to get the items to fill the bag - so I considered it a sacred responsibility to spend that money well and to get good deals on everything.  I had to write and print out a devotion, and design and print labels for the food bags and hygiene bags we'd be filling for a homeless shelter in Nashville.

So this morning I left early so I'd have time to get everything set up.  When I cranked up the car, a couple lights flashed, but it was running okay, and I figured it would get me to church and back, and I'd call the service folks afterwards and arrange to take it in tomorrow or Friday. So off I went.

About a mile down the road, I came to a "road closed" sign - the road ahead was flooded.  I backed up until I found a place I could turn around. Then I went a few miles out of the way on another route to the church - I figured I'd approach it from a different direction. Alas, I found another "road closed" sign for that road.  So I re-routed again and tried a third (and final) route.  This time I made it through.  The water on the sides of the road was high, but it hadn't come onto the road yet.



Meanwhile my fuel light had come on, and since giving out of gas is one of my fears - especially in flooding conditions (ha ha), I decided to stop at a gas station that was just right there and fill up. I still had plenty of time before the meeting began at 9:30.  I filled up the car and then hopped back into the car to drive the rest of the way to the church, and when I turned the key in the ignition . . . my car was dead.  Every light on the dashboard flashed when I tried to crank it - and it was obvious the car wasn't going anywhere.

The gas station (Leiper's Fork Market) had tables inside, and a very nice woman at the cash register.  I explained the situation, and asked if it was okay to leave the car where it was until I could get a tow truck there. It was fine. My car blocked the fuel pumps on one side - but the other side was open, and they weren't busy.

So I sat at a table and started my texts and phone calls to get this situation remedied.  First text was to cancel the PEN Club meeting.  There was no way I could get there - and in my disabled car was everything needed for the meeting.  Immediately one of the women who had been at the church (Cherry Lane) came to stay with me at the market. She was there to offer me a ride or any assistance she could.

I called the insurance company's roadside assistance number.  Within minutes, the tow company was contacted, and the truck was on its way.  I called Ron to let him know what was going on.  He offered to come over, but I told him I thought it was all under control, but that I'd call if I needed him.  Then I called Gary Force Acura service department to describe the problem and let them know I would be there with the car later.

Cherry Lane let me transfer all the bags of supplies into her car. I insisted I was fine/safe at the market - that when the tow truck got there, I would either ride with the truck to the Acura service center, or if he could get it cranked and it was drive-able, I'd drive straight to the service center myself.  So she took the supplies back to the church and unloaded and labelled it all so it would be ready for whenever we reschedule the PEN Club meeting.

The tow truck got there in record time, and the guy was as nice as he could be.  He determined that the battery was bad.  He was able to jump it off and get it running.  He checked it and didn't see anything else wrong and told me he thought it would be okay for me to drive it to the service center myself as long as I didn't turn it off again.  Insurance covered the roadside assistance call; so I gave him a tip to help pay for his lunch, and then I headed to Gary Force Acura.

And Gary Force Acura - always so polite and thorough. They checked it thoroughly, and the only thing wrong was a bad battery. The warranty on the battery expired just a few weeks ago - and they still discounted it majorly since it was so close to being in warranty.  It would take about two hours to get it all done since they would have to re-set things that were cancelled because of the bad battery.

I sat down in the waiting area and glanced at "Timehop" for today and realized that today marks 8 years exactly since Lily had her "No Mo' Chemo" party at the end of her first round of leukemia treatment. Eight years ago we celebrated the end of over two years of chemo, spinal taps, hair loss, almost 2 full years of missed school (2nd and 3rd grades).  Never could we have guessed that over 5 years later she would relapse and have to go through another 2 years of treatment and miss another two years of school (10th and 11th grades).

Looking at all the photos from the "No Mo' Chemo" party brought tears to my eyes. I'd been getting a little frustrated with all the car problems and how I'd worked so hard yesterday preparing for today's meeting - all for nothing. But being reminded of what Lily has gone through, my car issues were instantly reduced to absolutely nothing. Totally insignificant. And my heart was filled with how blessed I am - with friends who came to my aid at a moment's notice, good insurance, a good service department - and good family members who immediately called and offered help.

My daughter, Larisa, whose office was about a mile away from the Acura place, came and picked me up, took me to lunch where we had a wonderful conversation. As we were getting ready to leave the restaurant, my phone rang. My car was ready. Larisa drove me back to get the car.

The bill for the repair work was less than I would have ever imagined, they'd washed my car, and it ran perfectly.  I made a couple stops on the way home and got home around 4:00 p.m.

My day wasn't how I'd planned it, and I had to do a lot of scrambling to get everything taken care of, but it was a good lesson in how blessed I truly am.

A Little More About The New Median Sib

I enjoy my art blog (marycarolart.blogspot.com), and I've been posting consistently on it for a couple years now - maybe a little longer. However, I want to keep it completely related to art. I started to just add these non-art posts to that blog, but then I decided against that.  The New Median Sib will be where I post on other topics.

The original Median Sib blog got its name from the fact that I am the middle sibling in my family - two older sisters and an older brother, and two younger sisters and a younger brother.  The word "median" means the middle number, and "sib" is short for "sibling." I came up with that after trying out other blog titles and finding they were all already taken. No one else had The Median Sib, and so I ran with it.

I think I started my original The Median Sib blog in 2004 or 2005. It was after my brief marriage to Doug - and before I re-married Ron.  I go through phases in writing. Sometimes I'll write more often than other times.

So welcome to the new and improved (hopefully) Median Sib blog.

Eleven Years Between Posts

The Median Sib was my first blog.  I started it in 2004/2005. I was obsessed with it for a long time - writing 2 or 3 posts a day for several years. Eventually, I lost the fervor for blogging, and eleven years of silence on The Median Sib ensued. Recently, I decided that I would like to start blogging as The Median Sib again - and I considered different blog names, but finally decided that I'd stick with The Median Sib since that's uniquely "mine."  The problem was that when I started The Median Sib on Blogger, I set it up using a different email. And I can't figure out how to switch it over to my current email. It was such a pain to have to keep logging in and out of two different emails that I finally decided I'd start fresh with my current email - which necessitated starting a new blog.  Thus The NEW Median Sib!

I've written since the time in fifth grade when my father came back from a trip where he'd preached a revival at another church, and he brought each of us kids a gift. My gift was diary. I started keeping a diary, and have kept it up ever since.  I have a box of old diaries in my closet - starting from early in Ron's and my first marriage.  My only regret is that when Ron and I got married in 1969, I decided that I was leaving my old life behind, and I burned (!!!!!!) all those diaries I kept from 5th grade through my second year of college. OMG! I would love to be able to re-read those 5th grade and up writings. I remember in middle school making a homemade diary - with a cardboard cover I actually sewed onto folded paper.  Across the front I wrote "Diary Of Broken Hearts!" and drew a heart broken in half. Yes, apparently I had a flare for the dramatic even as a teenager.

However, soon after marrying, I started journaling again, and I've kept all those diaries.  For many years, I wrote it all by hand, but eventually started keeping a diary on the computer.  I've lost plenty of past writings via upgrading to new computers.  Somewhere there are discs and thumb drives containing my old diaries.

Writing has always been the way that I sort out my thoughts. I express myself best through writing. I have had articles published in the newspaper and several magazines, I've self-published some books. I've done lots of writing the past eleven years, just not as The Median Sib. 

Several years ago I started painting, and I set up a painting blog - Mary Carol Art.  I have a cooking blog (haven't updated that one in years), and a blog for our farm (several years of silence on that one, too), and a blog for spiritual growth (sporadic postings - but some recently). The art blog is the only one I currently post in regularly, though.

So let's see if I follow through and continue with The New Median Sib postings. Eleven years ago, The Median Sib included a lot of political posts - which I probably won't do on The New Median Sib. Maybe occasionally, but politics have become so divisive, and people have become so radicalized and mean-spirited, I don't want to be a part of that anymore. It bothers me to see people so consumed with hate.

Eleven years!  So much has happened.  The most significant for our family is that Lily was diagnosed with leukemia on December 1, 2008 - went through 2+ years of awful treatment - then had over 5 years of gaining strength and getting back into school and being a regular kid again - and then, unbelievably, she relapsed (September 23, 2016) and went through two additional years of relapse treatment - which was especially brutal since her body was already weak from the first treatment regimen.  But she made it through - with plenty of scares and pain and loss during that time - and she finished treatment just a few months ago and is slowly building up strength and health again.  She will go off to college in August.  She applied to six colleges and got six acceptances. She has chosen to go to the University of South Carolina in Columbia, SC.  She loves their nursing program. She plans on being a pediatric oncology nurse - and she loves the campus.

I have three granddaughters I didn't have eleven years ago.  Evey (Evelyn Ann) was born to Joey and Meleah in 2010, and Bradley (Mary Bradley) was born to Joey and Meleah in 2013. The "Mary" part of her name is after me - which makes me very happy! Larisa & Steven divorced in 2009.  Then Larisa married Phillip in 2014, and with Phillip came our second Sophie - Sophie Grace - who was born in 1999. So we have five granddaughters now.  And I think that's the end of getting new grandchildren.  However with Sophie Grace being 19 now - and Lily will be 18 in just a few weeks - it won't be too many years before we start on great grandchildren.  Amazing to think of that.  Even more amazing to know that in just 6 months I will turn 70 years old.  OMG!!!!!

Little Sophie will be 16 next month - and she's a sophomore in high school.  Just unbelievable how fast these children are growing up.  I could write pages about each of my children and grandchildren.  They each have such a special place in my heart.

My mother turned 96 this week.  She's had some difficulties the past few years - but is mostly clear-minded and relatively healthy.  She still lives by herself.  I drive down to visit her for a few days as often as I possibly can.

Ron and I will FINALLY go on a trip to Italy next month.  We've rented a villa for 9 nights and will make day trips from that home base.  I'm looking forward to a very low-key first trip abroad.  I've never even used my passport before.  So this will be a major first for me.

So that is a quick and on-the-surface catch-up on 11 years. More to come.