70 Lessons Learned in 70 Years

70 Lessons Learned in 70 Years

As I finished writing this list, the clock struck midnight, and it is officially August 26, 2019, and I am now officially 70 years old. I’ve been working on this list for a few weeks, off and on, adding tidbits whenever I’d think of them, and I was determined to finish it by my birthday. Thus, I reached my first goal of my 70s! Some of the following lessons are substantive and important, and others are fairly insignificant. They're in no particular order, and I absolutely don't claim to have mastered them all. I'm still very much a work in progress. However, these "lessons" are all things I’ve learned in my 70 years on this planet.

1. Life expectancy changes. When I did a little research, I found that the life expectancy for a woman in the United States is 81.1 years. All right – so I have 11 good years left, hopefully. However, after a little more research, I learned that the longer you live, the longer your life expectancy becomes.  There’s a website where you plug in your age, height, weight, whether or not you exercise regularly, smoke, drink, etc., and it will calculate your personal life expectancy. Mine came out to 92. That means that if all my variables remain the same and a meteor doesn’t come hurtling out of the sky and hit me, I have around 22 years left. However, I’ve also realized that living longer is not necessarily the ideal goal. Living in good health (physically, relationally, mentally, emotionally, spiritually) is the important thing.
2. Aging seemed to move along slowly at first.  Elementary school, high school, college, marriage, grad school, teaching, having children. During those years, time passed, but it didn’t seem particularly fast. It was around the time that my children started graduating from college and being on their own that life suddenly accelerated. I was 50 – and it seems the next day I was 60. Then time went into hyperdrive. The years between 60 and 70 were a blur. If this pattern continues, by Christmas, I’ll be knocking on 90’s door. Ha ha! I’m still in shock! I’m 70 years old! OMG! I’m 70! 40s, 50s, and even 60s were okay, but I'm still in shock at 70.
3. There’s a Tibetan proverb “Eat half, Walk double, Laugh Triple, Love without measure.” Sounds smart to me. That will be my theme for my 70s.
4. Always try out new things. For Christmas 2018, I asked for a basketball goal. Basketball goals aren’t new, but since my children grew up, I haven’t had one. My son got one and set it up for me right after Christmas. Several times a week, I go out there and shoot baskets. I may only do a few, or I may do a couple dozen. Either way, I’m outside doing something physical, something that takes skill and coordination – and that’s a good thing.
5. I have become more careful as I’ve aged. I would guess most people do. I understand now how easily an accident can happen – and (what used to be) minor accidents and falls can be life-changing now. I learned that lesson when I tripped in the yard and fell a few years ago– and ended up eventually having to have knee surgery because of it. (torn meniscus) I hold onto stair rails now, I watch carefully when I’m walking on uneven ground, and I no longer stand on a ladder to change light bulbs when I’m home by myself. 
6. Don’t let the old person in. In the movie, The Mule, with Clint Eastwood, there’s a song titled, Don’t Let the Old Man In. I listened to that song, and it literally changed my life. Well, that may be a little dramatic, but it DID change my life in small, but important, ways. Toby Keith, who sings the song, had interviewed Clint Eastwood (89 years old) and asked, "What keeps you going?" Clint's response was "I don't let the old man in.” After hearing Clint's words, Toby went home and wrote this song. Here are several of the lines: "And I knew all of my life.That someday it would end. Get up and go outside. Don't let the old man in. Many moons I have lived. My body's weathered and worn. Ask yourself how old would you be. If you didn't know the day you were born."  “Get up and go outside!” I love that phrase. Just get up and do what you need to and can do! If I didn’t know my age, I wouldn’t feel 70. So I will act how I feel instead of what the calendar says. When I start to question whether I can do something, I try to remember to tell myself, “Don’t let that old woman in!” and just do it.
7. Develop inquisitiveness. Keep learning. I know people who don’t want to get involved in groups with other seniors because they don’t want to admit they’re a senior. As though it’s a big secret. Take a class. Learn a skill. Find out how something works. Ask questions. Never stop learning.
8.  People will make you feel old without intending to. I knew I was getting old when I was sitting in a teachers’ meeting, and one of the younger teachers turned to me and asked me for my ideas on the topic being discussed because “you have so much wisdom to share.” You KNOW you’re old when people start talking about your “wisdom”. I retired about four years after that.
9. Whether you are happy or unhappy, life will end all too soon anyway.
10. It’s important (but difficult) to embrace vulnerability. When I first started painting, I was so afraid to share my art with anyone – even my husband – because I enjoyed it so much and was so happy that it was better than I ever dreamed it could be, and yet I still recognized that it wasn’t “fine” art. It wasn't even okay art. I understood that I was a beginner and that the paintings I liked would one day be paintings I’d see major flaws in as time passed and I learned more and (hopefully) got better at painting. I remember a long time ago, a distant relative of mine started painting. I was probably in my 20s at the time, and I cringed each time I looked at her paintings because they were so amateurish and just awful (in my opinion). They made me think of paint-by-number kits. My negative reaction to her paintings affected my own art many years later. I thought, “I don’t want to be another SueAnn (not her real name). I didn’t want to paint something that people would say, “Oh, that’s wonderful!” while thinking, “OMG! That’s awful!” I had to reach the point where I was okay with whatever they thought – and that took a lot of time. I’ve had people make comments recently that I knew meant they thought my painting was amateurish. And that’s okay. It is what it is. (I hate that phrase, but it IS applicable sometimes). The point is that being vulnerable is the only way we will ever seek out new experiences. We can’t start out on a new hobby or activity and be proficient immediately. There is always a learning curve.  So embrace your vulnerability and try new things. And who cares if what you do is amateurish and not “professional.” It truly doesn’t matter.
11. Write thank-you notes – or at least thank-you texts or emails. Appreciation is always welcome. I once sent gift cards to quite a few young people who had graduated. I received sweet hand-written thank you notes from two of them. The others, however never acknowledged the gift in any way. No texts – no emails – no verbal thank you when I next saw them in person. I hope they received the gifts, although I guess I’ll never know. Of course, I didn’t give the gifts on the condition of the person thanking me. And I don’t harbor any negative feelings about it. However, it is obvious that expressing gratitude is not an important character trait of many of today’s young people – and that’s sad. Gratitude is a vital part of a satisfying life. I write all that and then I remember that, although I TRY to keep up with thank you notes, there have been times when I’ve neglected to do it myself – although I think I’ve always at least verbally expressed my thanks for gifts.
12. Having a mantra can be a powerful thing. In a book discussion group I attended in 2018, we were encouraged to write a personal mantra.  My mantra was “Be Brave – Be Real - Be Carol.” I had that mantra engraved on a silver bangle bracelet that I wear most of the time. It reminds me to follow my mantra. Here are explanations of each part: (a) Be brave – Do the right thing, even when it’s hard to do. Introduce yourself to the new person in the room. Extend the apology. Be vulnerable. Take that class that sounds interesting to you. (b) Be real – Be authentic. Don’t try to impress. You’re good enough “just the way you are.” (Did you hear Mr. Rogers’ voice when you read that last sentence?)  Nobody is perfect – so embrace the real, imperfect you. It’s okay to be yourself. (c) The third part of my mantra is “Be Carol.” I chose that because I know that, at heart, I am a kind and loving person. Sure, I have my selfish and unkind moments, but if I am true to myself, I am thoughtful and considerate of others. By using “Be Carol” it becomes an affirmation that I AM that person.
13. Many years ago, I read the following quote from Calvin Coolidge: “Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” I immediately made a poster of the quote and posted it in my classroom, and I posted it in every classroom I had after that.  The quote made such an impression on me. Persistence. Perseverance. You don’t have to be the smartest – or the strongest – or the wisest – or the prettiest – or any superlative. You just have to keep trying. Don’t give up.
14. I see many people get older and stop being active because they devoted their entire lives to either their work or family – or both - and once they retired and all the kids were grown and on their own, they were left with nothing to do. Develop a hobby or interest NOW that stands the test of time. It has to be something that you enjoy and can do the rest of your life. Sports are great but choose a sport you can still do when you don’t have the strength and flexibility of youth. Choose a hobby, interest, activity, or sport in which you can “lose yourself.” “Losing yourself” means that you can get so wrapped up in doing it that you lose track of time. You’re not paying attention to anything except that activity. You’re truly living in the moment! I always wanted to be an artist, but I didn’t think I had any talent. After I retired, I started taking classes, and I learned I could paint well enough to not totally suck. I know I’m not the next Van Gogh or Rembrandt, and that’s okay. I enjoy it anyway. Through all the classes and workshops I’ve taken and still take, I’ve made new friends and gotten involved in artist groups. And in the future, as long as I’m able to sit in front of an easel and hold a paintbrush, I can paint. I can lose myself in it, and that’s a good thing, especially in today’s world.
15.  Audiobooks can be a good thing. I like audible.com, and regularly download audiobooks to listen to when I’m in my car. It’s surprising how quickly I can listen to an entire book while driving around town on errands. It may take several weeks, but I usually enjoy that much better than listening to music or talk radio. I’ve downloaded audiobooks on learning Italian – and I’ll listen to those a LOT before we go to Italy again.
16. When developing a habit, start small. Last year, I downloaded a book titled Atomic Habits.  Seriously, if you haven’t read it, get it and read it. It’s about how it’s best to develop small habits (i.e. atomic habits) that lead to big results. Rather than starting with some huge and impossible task, start with a small habit. Maybe decide to exercise 3 minutes each morning. That’s doable for just about anyone. Whatever your goal is, start an “atomic” habit to begin working on it. Then build from there. And if you don’t ever build beyond the initial atomic habit, you’ll be surprised how much that little bit makes a difference and grows. It goes back to that persistence/perseverance thing. When I set up my first atomic habit, I decided I wanted to be more physically fit and I wanted to be able to play several songs well on the piano. So I planned out a set of 3 exercises that I could do in about 5 minutes, and I chose several songs I wanted to learn to play on the piano. My goal was 3-5 days a week to do the exercises and to play three songs. It is amazing how much better I am on the piano with just that small amount of regular playing. No, I’m not ready to play the piano for church, but I can play several songs pretty well. And the 3-5 minutes of exercise leads to my feeling better all day long, plus I usually workout a little longer than that.
17. (Warning: major use of the f-word ahead. If that bothers you, skip to #18.) Another audiobook I listened to that made an impact on me is The Subtle Art of not Giving a Fuck. I’ve actually listened to it several times. It's that good. First, I had to adjust to hearing the word “fuck” repeatedly.  It is interesting the shock value that particular word can have on someone like me that did not grow up hearing language like that. My sisters and I thought we were tough as teens when we’d say “damn” - and we only did that a couple times and never around anyone else. Just kids trying out daring behaviors. :-) It is also interesting, after listening to the book for about an hour, that the shock value wore off. Now the word doesn’t really bother me. It’s just a word. Back to the book: Basically, we give too many fucks in life, and we must learn to not give a fuck about the things that don’t matter. When we give too many fucks to the insignificant crap in life, we don’t have fucks left for the important things. I know the author could have not used that word, but the book probably wouldn’t have sold nearly as many copies – and the message is a really good one. Don’t waste your time worrying about unimportant things. Your energy and time are finite. Save them for the things that are valuable and important to you.
18. Be kind. That includes being kind to yourself. That can be a hard lesson to learn.
19. Don’t make decisions when you are angry or upset. This is a very hard thing for me because I tend to react, and I want to DO SOMETHING about the situation when I’m feeling emotional. I’m working hard to remember to pause. Take deep breaths. Wait a day or two to act – or at least the next morning.
20. Being grateful makes life better. I've kept a gratitude journal off and on through the past few years. I enjoy reading back over the entries, and when I do, it makes me feel grateful all over again. Being grateful is a good way to get over anger and disappointments and other negative emotions. It’s hard to feel bad when you remember all the things that are good in your life.
21. And speaking of journals, keeping a journal – even a very brief and sketchy one – is a good thing. It’s amazing how much you forget over time. I’ve kept a journal since I was in 5^th grade – and I still have my journals starting from not long after Ron and I married in 1969.
22. Situations seem worse at night. Why is that? What is there about the night that makes any upset seem worse? It’s true, though. Try to tough it out till the morning, and things will feel better.
23. Despite the earlier advice about not making decisions when you’re upset, there ARE times when you need to act – despite being angry or upset. The trick is determining whether your particular situation warrants immediate action. I wish I had a magic formula for that, but I’m afraid it’s a situational decision you have to make. An example would be if you saw someone abusing an animal or a child. You’re upset, but that isn’t the time to wait a day or two to let your emotions settle. You have a responsibility to protect the vulnerable one immediately. Part of maturity is being able to discern when to act and when to wait.
24. It is not necessarily true that you are more likely to regret things you DIDN’T do than things you did. When I think back over my life, I don’t regret much, but that short list includes both things I did and things I didn’t do. I had an opportunity once to sky-dive. It would've been a tandem sky-dive, and I was right there and could have joined in easily, but I just watched as others did it. I regret that decision.
25. Children change you in ways you would have never guessed. As you grow up, date, and get married, you know you will love your children when they come along. However, when that first child is born, you will be totally blown away with the absolute enormity of that love. It’s overwhelming. You will also be amazed at how children change your life. Before we had kids, Ron and I would go out on weekends, and then we’d sleep late the next morning. Saturday mornings were generally lazy mornings – sleeping till near noon at times.  However, after children, we never sleep in. Even after they grew up and left home, our internal clocks are changed. We wake up with the dawn every.single.morning. You think that when they grow up and move out on their own, your job is done. Wrong. The whole “heart on the outside of your body” thing still runs deep. Then, it goes into overdrive when . . .
26. When grandchildren come along, you know you will love them. However, when that first grandchild is born, you will be totally blown away with the absolute enormity of that love. It’s different than the love you have for your children – different but just as strong. You become more vulnerable because you love so big. Grandchildren are a blessing that is matched by nothing else in life.
27.  No matter how much you plan to be a perfect parent, you will make mistakes. And you’ll make some pretty serious mistakes. Your children will remember those mistakes. They will also remember experiences very differently than you remember them.
28. When your children are adults, be prepared to find out just how much they “got away with” as they were growing up. One day your kids will get on the topic of their childhoods, and they be laughing at the things they did that their parents (YOU!) had no clue about. It is eye-opening and sometimes shocking! I remember going to school one morning and another teacher commented on the fact that I must've had a big party that Saturday night by all the cars parked up and down the street. I had been out of town and had left my college aged son at home. I came home to a spotless house. A picture on the kitchen wall had been moved, but it looked good where it was and so I left it and didn't think anything of it. It never occurred to me that something was up. When I moved years later and took down that painting, there was a hole in the wall behind it. 
29. I grew up hearing that you should cherish your children when they are little because they grow up so quickly. So I deliberately enjoyed and paid attention to and cherished each of my children's babyhoods and childhoods – and they STILL grew up too quickly. So then I turned to my grandchildren and treasured those moments, too. And they are growing up quickly as well. Lesson learned: Kids grow up – time passes – and there’s not a damn thing you can do to slow it down. Just enjoy being in the moment as much as possible. All too soon, those childhoods will be relegated to memories.
30. People very sagely advise us to “Pick your battles” and “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” I’m here to tell you that can be stupid and dangerous. Small stuff leads to big stuff, and battles not fought over seemingly unimportant behaviors can lead to very bad or destructive patterns of behavior later.  Sometimes you must set boundaries and expectations within the minutiae of life.
31.  If someone wants to be with you, they’ll find a way. In the show, Sex and the City (yes, I’ve seen every single episode plus both movies), there is an episode where they discuss a book titled He’s Just Not That Into You. It’s a freeing concept for relationships. Sometimes you have to accept the fact that you're simply not someone else's cup of tea. That’s life. You don’t need to do anything to change how they feel. You didn't do anything to make them feel that way. They don’t need to change. They just aren't that into you, and that’s okay. Move on.
32. A sincere apology is powerful. When it is needed, don’t be afraid to use it. Once I was very worked up over a situation where I felt I had been treated unfairly. When I expressed that upset and hurt, the other person gave me the most sincere and heartfelt apology, and INSTANTLY, all my upset and hurt was gone. Poof! Absolutely gone! It was amazing to me that a simple apology could make such a difference. Powerful stuff there!
33. Develop friendships. Sometimes it’s easy to become self-involved, but people need people. Find your tribe, and then nurture it. Invite people over to share meals or to play cards or to simply talk. Attend a Bible Study group. Schedule regular lunches out or walks in the park with a friend or group of friends. I’m an introvert, and I thrive on being alone with quiet and peaceful surroundings. However, I still need friends and social interaction. Put effort into developing and maintaining friendships. 
34. Children remember.  Words and actions in their early years can either positively or negatively impact them for the rest of their lives. Ron and I were once talking with Ron’s Grandfather, Felix. Felix was in his 90s at the time, and he was reminiscing about the time his first grade teacher was going around the classroom looking at the children’s work as they practiced writing their numbers. She stopped by Felix’s desk and remarked, “Felix, your 4s are really nice.” Eighty-five years later, Felix remembered fondly those affirming words. We adults need to remember to be careful – be intentional – about what we say to children – to anybody – of any age. Words have power.
35. Early in my teaching career, we had a speaker who advised us to not say anything to a student we wouldn’t say if the child’s parents were standing there. There were at least a few occasions throughout my teaching career when I was talking to my class or to individual students and turned around and either administrators, other teachers, or parents were standing where they could hear. So I was thankful for that advice. Not that I would say anything negative to students, BUT it kept me mindful of always being positive and kind. That’s good advice for life in general. Don’t say anything to anyone that you wouldn’t be okay with others hearing or having repeated elsewhere.
36. When giving gifts to others, many people give something they would want themselves. The better gift, though, is to learn what the other person values and wants, and then give a gift that matches that person’s unique dreams and wishes. 
37. Don’t be afraid to use the word “no.” I spent too much of my life being afraid to say no to people. You can do it kindly, but if you don’t want to do something or don't have the interest, time, or energy to do something, say so!  
38. One of life’s yukkiest experiences is to shake hands with someone that gives a weak, limp-wristed handshake. I believe kids should learn how to shake hands in kindergarten, if not earlier. When I was a classroom teacher, I would teach my students how to give a proper handshake. Always give a firm (but not finger-crushing) handshake! 
39. Read the Bible all the way through at least once. The OT is hard – so maybe follow a guide to read some OT and some NT each day. It may take years – but do it. Great for context, understanding – and, of course, bragging rights.
40. The Golden Rule is always a good policy. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
41. Having a daily devotional time is a really nice way to live. Read a Bible passage, read the day’s devotion in The Upper Room or other devotional book, keep a prayer journal and/or a gratitude journal. You might prefer to do it first thing in the morning or  right before you go to sleep at night. Do whatever works best for you. It’s a good habit to develop.
42. Be trustworthy.  Once trust is lost, it’s hard to regain it. Don’t promise anything unless you intend to follow through. Trust is a very fragile thing.
43. God doesn’t look around and say, “Oh, I think I’ll give this person cancer – and oh, let me zap that one with a heart attack!” Life happens, and God is there to see us through it. I remember a few days after Lily was first diagnosed with leukemia at the age of 7, Ron and I were eating in a local restaurant, and the server came up to us and said she’d heard about Lily. Then she asked if she could share a story that she thought would be a comfort to us. She proceeded to tell us of how, when she was a child, she was diagnosed with cancer. However, her mom prayed and told God that she just could not handle having a child with cancer, and later, when she went back to the doctor, the cancer was completely gone. I just looked at the waitress. THAT story was supposed to be a comfort? According to her story, all I needed to do was tell God we couldn’t handle Lily’s having cancer, and it would go away. Really? I truly believe that prayer changes things, and sometimes miracles happen. However, most often, prayer changes us and enables us to live with the bad stuff that life throws at us. God’s not a puppet master dishing out illnesses and then dispensing cures depending on who prays the most or hardest. Bad stuff happens, and God is with us through it all. When people credit prayer with healing someone, it's like a slap in the face to the people who prayed and prayed for healing that never happened. They're left to wonder, "Did I not pray hard enough?" "Was my prayer not good enough?" 
44. Bad things WILL happen to you – bad things that you can’t control. All you can control is how you react to those bad things. I’ve told the following story many times – I even had the story published in Guideposts magazine, but it’s worth repeating. It’s the only time in my life I feel that God spoke directly to me. A week or two after Lily was initially diagnosed with leukemia, I was in my car on the way home from visiting her at the hospital. She had been in pain and was so un-Lily-like. Curled up in a ball, crying, and not wanting to speak to anyone other than her mother. This child I loved more than life itself – my first grandchild - and I could do nothing to help her. I cried as I drove home, and the 800+ days of treatment ahead for Lily seemed overwhelming and unthinkable – 2 ½ years of chemo and pain and suffering! I kept thinking, “God, please let these 2 ½ years pass and be over with!” Instantly, in my head, I heard the words, “Don’t wish those years away; savor them!”  Savor them? How could I savor something so horrible? I stopped crying and started thinking. How could I savor those 800 days? There was nothing I could do to help Lily except to visit and distract as much as possible. I could help out with Sophie, and I did; I made Lily’s favorite foods and took them to the hospital, did crafts and other activities with her and Sophie. I accompanied Lily and Larisa to clinic as often as I could. That was almost eleven years ago, and within those 2 ½ years of treatment, we made some wonderful memories. I savored the good times within that horrible experience. When Lily relapsed in 2016 and faced an additional two years of treatment, I had to do the same thing again, although the circumstances were so different then since the girls were older and Larisa had remarried. There were terrifying and painful times, but there were also good and happy times. So – when circumstances are out of your control, look for the good within the bad – and savor those good times.
45. Life is not fair. Declaring, “That’s not fair!” just makes you look ridiculous. It is impossible for life to be fair. There are too many variables, and sometimes things happen for no rhyme or reason.  So accept the unfairness, work to make things fair wherever you can, and then keep going.
46.  “Stuff” weighs your down. The more stuff you have, the less freedom you have. Keep your life as simple as possible. That includes household furnishings, clothing, books - really everything. Simplify.
47. Sometimes you don’t REALLY want what you think you want. Ha! I’ve had to learn that lesson more than once! 
48. Diets are stupid. Just eat moderately and don’t waste years worrying about it. This is advice I didn’t follow myself. I spent most of my life on one diet or another. And when I wasn’t on a diet, I was thinking about being on a diet. The only extended time when I didn’t worry much about my weight was when I was taking Phen-Fen and got relatively thin. But then, the Fen part of Phen-Fen was banned – and so I took only the Phen part of the combination for years.  I had about 10 years that were mostly wonderful in some ways and occasionally yukky in others. I remember being amazed that a simple little pill each day could make such a difference. I hate to think of all the time and effort I wasted worrying about my weight. I hate to think of all the things I didn’t do because I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin. I’m done with that. Dieting never made a long-term difference; so I’m done with it.
49. Trust your instincts. There is a reason we recognize “red flags.” If you immediately don’t like someone or feel uneasy around someone, pay attention and figure out why. I believe most people have an innate sense of who is or isn’t authentic. For example, there is a woman that I’ve felt uneasy about since I met her – although other people in my family think that person is wonderful. I have tried to feel differently, but that feeling of unease persists. So I’m friendly but wary around her. I don’t know if some day I’ll be proven right or wrong – but I accept that there are red flags and reasons for my feelings. Trust your personal red flags.
50. Don’t fall for the trap of believing “When _____ happens, I will be happy.” Make your own happiness where you are now. Nothing and no one can “make” you happy.
51. You can change your bad mood, if you want to, by (a) taking a walk outside, (b) doing something for someone else. Research has shown that both getting outside and doing something for others generally make you happier.
52. Similarly, when you’re in a bad mood, smile. The simple act of smiling actually makes you feel better. There’s a scientific explanation about associating muscle memory with moods. Your body associates the physical act of smiling with the emotional feeling of happiness. Thus, smiling helps you feel better. I'm sure the actual definition is more complicated than that, but that's the general gist of it.
53. I used to get uptight about choosing the easiest and fastest route for trips. I felt compelled to find the best route. Then I dated a man who didn’t worry about such things. Once we were driving somewhere, and we ran into some traffic, and I fretted over whether or not I should have taken another route. He said, “It doesn’t matter. We’ll get there. It doesn’t matter if it takes 15 minutes or 20 minutes or 2 hours. Who cares? We’ll get there.”  Sigh. Why did it take me so many years to learn that simple truth? It doesn’t matter. Refer back to #17.
54. Make up the bed when you first awaken each morning. That little bit of neatness impacts your day. If you can, watch this short video, and if you have plenty of time, look up the entire speech and listen to it. Good stuff.
55. Develop daily habits that make your life easier: Make up your bed as soon as you get up (see video in #54), always put your dirty clothes in a hamper, close doors, turn off lights, put your dishes away immediately, put things where they belong. Daily habits such as these are part of being an adult. Most importantly, though, daily habit such as these make life much easier and less frustrating.
56. Nature is healing. As often as possible, get outside, even if it’s just to walk around your yard or block for a few minutes.
57. Have a garden – even if it’s just a couple tomato plants in a pot.
58. Plan in decades.  Think in years. Work in months. Live in days. (not original – just worth thinking about)
59. Don’t worry about what people think of you; most people are too busy thinking about themselves to be concerned with you. And, most of all, who cares what other people think of you. (Again, refer back to #17)
60. When you feel overwhelmed with a task to be done, start with something small. For example, you have to clean the garage. Start with doing one shelf, or sweeping out one side. Almost always, you’ll feel like tackling another part of the job once you’ve done that small part. If so, great – keep going. If not, then at least you did a small part of it. You got started.
61. Learn to nap. It is often not possible to sleep a long time at night.  That’s when the afternoon nap comes in handy. Some of the best and deepest sleep is via naps.
62. Travel. And don’t wait till you’re retired to do it. Do it while you’re young enough to be able to keep up with the physical requirements for travel. Travel to other states, visit national parks, travel to other countries and see other cultures. See as much of the world as you possibly can.
63. Don’t delete photos from your phone (or other devices) unless you have checked and double-checked – and perhaps even triple-checked - that the ones you want to keep are safely stored elsewhere. When I was clearing out old photos from my phone back in 2016, I mistakenly deleted my photos and videos from Ron’s and my trip to Alaska with Lily and Sophie. I thought I had saved those. But I didn’t double check before I clicked the “permanently delete” button. Thank goodness I had posted some on Facebook, and Ron still had his photos from the trip. However, I lost a lot of irreplaceable videos and photos, and I’m still sad that they’re gone forever. And yes, I’ve taken my phone and computer to the Apple store – and the photos are truly gone.
64. Don’t apologize for who you are.
65. Life is about change. Everything changes. No matter how bad things seem - and no matter how good things are, it will all change.
66. You can waste a lot of time online – not doing anything specific, just scrolling through Facebook and Instagram and reading posts and articles – maybe playing games. Keep a rein on that because it eats up time with no return on the time spent.
67. Politics have become so contentious that if it is something that bothers you, it is sometimes better to stay away from it. Get your fact-based news from a reliable source (which you will have to search to find), and stay away from the radio and TV news.
68. Quietness is calming. Sometimes the noise of music or the TV is just too much for me. I have to get away to where it’s quiet.
69. There are apps that actually help you sleep.  One is called Abide, and another one is Calm. There are others, but those are the two that I downloaded to my phone. Abide is a Christian-based app, and Calm is not. I personally like Abide best. If I’m home alone, I’ll play one of the “sleep stories” as I’m going to sleep. You can program it to run as long as you like. I usually set it for 30 minutes or an hour – depending on how sleepy I am at the time. I always go to sleep before it’s finished. At the end of the set time, it automatically goes off.  Abide uses a combination of Scripture, prayer, and Bible stories – with the reader using a soft and soothing voice. It’s a nice way to go to sleep on a positive note, and I almost always choose Abide over Calm. Calm uses stories – like The Velveteen Rabbit, The Ugly Duckling, or Pinocchio - along with “trips” into the Canadian Wilderness, Along the Nile, to the Outer Banks – where the reader describes the scenery, etc. I think these apps work because they focus your attention on the words of the speaker, and so you’re forced to stop thinking about all the other stuff going on in your life. Stuff that keeps you from falling asleep.  If you have trouble going to sleep, these apps are helpful.
70. We “owe” it to the people who died early to enjoy our lives as much as possible. Since my family was thrust into the world of childhood cancer, we’ve met too many children who have died at an early age. I feel I owe it to Savannah and both Samanthas and Angelie and Matt and Clinton and Elizabeth and Chase and Dariana and Tay and all the other children we’ve known who wanted so badly to live but died anyway. Life is hard, and there are certainly challenges in it, but it is also good. Absolutely excellent at times. And we who are living are blessed to experience it.

So here's to 70 years of life completed. So far it has been an exciting life - lots of ups and down and in-betweens. I've been blessed with my family, friends, church, community, profession, interests, and good health. There are very few regrets. Who knows what the future holds - but tonight it holds dinner at my favorite restaurant with my family. Lily and Sophie Grace won't be there since they're both away at college. However, I was with them earlier this month and we celebrated my birthday then, too. So I am completely blessed to have had that celebration and now a second birthday celebration tonight.